In a routine argument with my ex, she said that she wanted me to give her a SIM card that I was using. However, many of my accounts were already attached to that number. I asked her to be patient, but then she said it. She said she would file a complaint against me for rape if I didn’t return the SIM card–yes, I’m serious. It was like my body became encased in ice. I’ve heard of guys being falsely accused of rape, but I figured, “I’m a good guy. It’ll never happen to me”.
She said that one time I went on top of her, and she pushed me off was rape even though there was no penetration, and I accepted it after she pushed me off. Could this really be rape? I did some googling, and it turns out the definition of sexual assault is really broad.
I was so scared I even spoke to an attorney. Fortunately, he told me that since she stayed with me and I had text messages as proof, she wasn’t concerned about it until after I broke up with her that I should be fine.
The truth is though a false rape accusation can be a terrifying thing for a foreigner. Even in America, the deck is stacked against men, but it’s even worse if you get accused of rape in The Philippines thanks to tribalism.
The Woman’s Honor Doctrine
This is a doctrine in The Philippines that states that a Filipina would never lie about being raped due to the insult to her and/or her family’s honor. This means if the prosecutor’s default position is to believe any woman who accuses a man of rape.
This was an actual judicial doctrine in The Philippines, although there have been some changes. For example, in 2017, the Supreme Court acquitted two men who had been previously convicted of rape due to the woman’s inconsistent and ‘unbelievable’ stories.
Your best weapon for fighting off a false rape charge is evidence. If you had a sexual encounter that might be questionable, make sure you send them text messages asking about it. Say things like, hey, are you okay with what happened last night? Or even ask if she liked it. I would go a step further and ask for another meeting.
The point is to get her to admit in writing that it was consensual, even better if she admits that she enjoyed it. It’ll be very hard for a woman who admitted she liked it and agreed to another meeting to then turn around and cry rape.
Have Character Witnesses
This is one of those times it’s really good to have local friends here. People who will go to bat for you and testify that you are a person of good moral character can go a long way in defeating a false rape charge.
Ask for a Medical Examination
Many rapes leave behind evidence not found in consensual sex. For example, if she was raped, there should be bruises or some evidence of forced sexual intercourse.
Was She Drunk? If So, Make it Known
Many false accusations of rape occur when one or both parties involved in the act of intercourse were under the influence of drugs or alcohol. If the alleged victim was intoxicated, her ability to accurately recall events will be questioned.
Find Inconsistencies in Her Story
This is your best bet to fighting a fake rape charge. If she files a complaint, she’ll need to detail what happened, when it happened, and how it happened. If it was a vindictive gf, who accused you, make sure she states what happened after the supposed rape. Did she go with you? Did she stay with you? That’s not normal behavior for a rape victim. Point out that it wasn’t rape until after you broke up with her or you two got into a really bad argument months later.
Just remember that most threats of a fake rape charge are just that, threats. They’re trying to intimidate you into doing whatever they want, usually not to break up with them or give them money.