Let me guess. You made the decision to pursue a Filipina and thought it would be easy because when you first signed up for those free dating sites you were inundated with messages from interested women? Then you discovered that most of those women were…shall we say…less than desirable. 3 kids by 3 different men? Unemployed high school drop out? Or maybe even just straight up prostitutes! Don’t worry most guys have been in your shoes and having trouble finding a good Filipina. Some even settle for those kinds of girls but you don’t have to be one of them! This article is for good guys with good values who want to know how to find a wife in The Philippines
Look For Good Filipinas in The Right Places
It never ceases to amaze me how many guys think they can turn a bar girl into a housewife. If she was a bar-girl when you met her then what makes you think she’ll all the sudden become your loyal faithful wife later? Bar girls are trained to make you fall in love with them so you’ll open your wallet. That’s how they make their living. If she’s been doing it a while then despite her insistence that ‘this is temporary’ or ‘I’m just saving money to go to school’ that’s who she is.
If you are serious about finding a good Filipina for marriage here’s what you need to do. First, you need to go to the right places. My mother used to always tell me if you go to the dump you’re going to get trash. If you are looking for a nice Filipina with good Christian values then try a site like Christian Filipina. They have women who are serious and have passed a background check to prove not only that they are who they say they are but that they are not already married. Oh, and they also make sure she’s an actual woman!
Be as Appealing As Possible
The higher quality girl you want the more effort it will take to win her over. If all you care about is having fresh meat then 30 bucks and a backseat is all you need. But if you want an educated woman with good values you’re going to have to prove to her that you are worthy of her. Let us not forget that good girls want good guys also. She’s going to want a guy that has a stable income, in at least somewhat good physical condition, and has some charm. In other words, she’ll want to see some of the same values in you that you want in her.
She’ll also expect to be courted in the proper way. That means getting to know her, sending her flowers or a teddy bear, and absolutely not pushing for sex right away. That’s why many of the best Filipinas prefer sites where the man is required to pay in order to join. It sends a signal that A. you are serious and B. that you have a stable income to support her. Many Filipinas are tired of talking to guys that are not serious and have no intention of marrying them. That’s why you’ll have to go over just a few hurdles to show her that you’re actually for real.
No, You Can’t Buy a Loving Wife
Some guys will let the fact that women are throwing themselves at them on these dating sites get to their head. Just remember those girls that are initially throwing themselves at you aren’t doing it because they think you’re so hot. Also, those are the same girls that throw themselves at anyone; aforementioned types above. Love is one of the most unique things in the universe as it’s something that can’t be bought. You can buy her time and maybe even rent her body but you can never buy her true love. If you don’t care and you just want a pretty girl sleeping next to you at night then fine. Just know that once the money runs out so will she.
If the girl you’re talking to is showing the signs that she’s not that into you then sending her money won’t change that. Even if you sent her money after her sob story about her grandmother being ill or a typhoon destroying her family’s home she’ll smile and act so happy but her true feelings for you won’t change.
Time is on Your Side!
The best advice for finding a Filipina wife is to take your time! The higher quality woman you want the more time it will take. Now you can reduce that time by going to reputable dating sites but still finding a good Filipina won’t happen overnight. Just be patient and talk to many different women.A
There’s no reason to commit too early! Be up front and let her know that you’re serious but can’t commit to someone you haven’t met. I find its best if you tell them you’re looking for a friend that could become your wife. That way she’ll know that while you’re looking for something real that doesn’t mean you’re desperate and will just take anyone.
Location, Location, Location
Just like anyone, Filipinas are shaped by their environment that they grew up in. A girl who grew up in a large city like Cebu or Manila may be more likely to have more formal education and more ‘liberated’ westernized values. A girl from the province may be less likely to have a college degree but stronger traditional values. That’s not to say this is 100% the case.
My dad married a doctor from Manila that still had decent strong Christian values but statistically speaking that won’t be the case. Let me be clear: there are plenty of provincial girls that are shady as heck. Bicol is one of the more conservative provinces in the Philippines. The girls I’ve met there were pretty conservative and had good values that a good guy like you wants. That’s not to say meeting a girl in Bicol is any sort of guarantee.
Find a Good Filipina By Weeding Out the Bad Ones
Even on reputable sites like Filipino Cupid and Christian Filipina scammers will still manage to filter through which is why the buck stops with you when it comes to detecting a scammer. In order to make this work, you need to know the signs of a scammer. Some of the main ones are:
- Declaring love way too quickly–It’s not human to be madly in love with someone after one chat. Love at first site is pretty rare in real life and practically impossible online.
- If she insists you’re the first foreigner she’s talked to–If she’s on a dating site I promise you that’s not the case.
- If she’s offering sex quickly–As we talked about above, a good Filipina cares about her body and her reputation. She won’t just give it up to anyone even if you do represent an opportunity for a better life for her. You don’t want to mess with a girl that sends a shirtless picture right away, trust me.
- Just doesn’t do the things a person in love should do–People in love want to spend as much time with their lover as possible. If she starts off saying she’s falling for you but makes excuses to spend less and less time with you those things don’t correlate. Meaning you’ve got a scammer–no matter how good her excuses for spending less time with you are. We all have jobs and things to do. That’s no excuse not to spend time with someone you’re supposedly madly in love with.
- Doesn’t want you to know her family–Family is paramount in the Philippines! I wouldn’t even think of dating a girl that wouldn’t introduce me to her family. If she won’t present you to her family (even over skype) it means she’s hiding something or is embarrassed.
- She tells stories–Fairy tales are fun when we are kids but adults who tell them are bad news. If she’s always blathering on about her financial woes then that’s a sign it’s time for you to go.
Related: Filipina Dating Resources
What to Expect When Dating a Good Filipina
If you are dating a good Filipina from a good family it’ll be very different than dating a bar-girl. First of all, don’t expect her to have sex with you right away. Some might even make you wait until marriage. I’ve even heard some of the families won’t even let you take her out without a chaperone (meaning you’ll be paying for dinner for 3). Expect to be talking to her for a long time before she’ll agree to meet you in person. Remember, a good Filipina doesn’t need you and isn’t desperate like some of the other girls you may be used to dating. It will be just like dating a conservative woman back home except she’s younger and actually respects your age.
Why it’s Worth it to Date a Good Filipina
Maybe now you’re wondering why is it worth it to date a good Filipina? The answer, of course, depends on you.
What do you care about?
What are you really looking for?
If you want a good woman that will love you, honor you, and cherish you until the very end then a Filipina is an excellent choice! There is no divorce in the Philippines and it’s still a point of shame in the provinces to be separated from your husband. You’ll get a woman with good traditional values that will respect you as a man so long as you honor her as your wife. She’ll help raise your future with good morals and values. That’s why it’s worth it to date a good Filipina!