Are You Getting Played? Here’s How to Know for Sure (written by a Filipina)

It’s time for me to spill some tea as a Filipina I have found the love of my life through a dating app. What my current boyfriend and I have had was kind of surreal, and yes he’s a foreigner.

I was in it for the win, and as he was too. In short, we were both SERIOUSLY looking for love. And we found it. Never did I ever take advantage of him because he is a foreigner, and he knew nothing about Filipina scamming tactics.

The courtship stage was lengthy because we were making sure that what we were the right fit for each other. And believe me, other Filipina women would have probably gone on for dating apps with the same reason as mine.

So don’t lose heart. I do not mean to discourage you from finding a Filipina girlfriend or wife. What I am aiming here at, is to make sure that you are educated and open-minded to the reality of some Filipina scammers.

How to Know if Your Filipina is Scamming You

Typical Scams

So what exactly are the different types of scams that you need to avoid? As you may know, the world wide web carries the most risk of finding a professional con artist. Before you decide on matching with someone online, educate yourself about the culture of the Philippines.

There are many social issues, bad habits, and a darker side of the nation that you have to be aware of, and sometimes for these reasons, some people end up scamming foreigner men. Do not turn a blind eye to meeting scammers because the probability is higher than what you think.

A close friend of mine said that their neighbor was scamming foreign men she met online. She would make them fall in love with her. At first, she presented herself as everything you’d want in a woman. She would care for you, making sure that she would listen to all of your rants about your tiring day. She’d be all ears, and you would find it very therapeutic, having her listen to you all the time.

She would be communicating with you every single day, and you’d feel like she is starting to seep into your routinized life. Speaking with her just feels comforting for you. She would share her emotions and sentiments about her family. You’d be amazed at how family-oriented she is, and it will make you fall even more.

Lastly, she will pretend to be a traditional female, opposite of Western women, which is the primary reason why you are looking for an Asian woman in the first place. She is supportive, gentle, and caring, and she would boost your ego, making you feel like you are the best man she ever met.

And once you fall hard and deep, she would then start demanding gifts and even cash. When they request money they almost always impose a deadline. This was confirmed by a romance scam study done by the National Institutes of Health (NIH).

Three key themes were identified in the stories of the victims:
-“Speaking about the relationship as being permanent” (the victims say that the scammer within a short time from the beginning of the contacts tends to speak about the relationship as something eternal, often making a marriage proposal).

– “Tragic biographic narratives” (the scammer tends to report a series of tragic events in his/her life, such as the loss of his/her wife or children, accidents or loss of work).

-“Deadline” [the scammer imposes deadlines on the victim to comply with, for example in providing sums of money to resolve the tragic events that suddenly occurred to the scammer (e.g. medical treatment for accidents/illnesses). If these sums are not paid, they can prejudice the continuation relationship and the chance to meet live].

Once you have started chatting with someone on an online dating platform, this is the beginning of the getting-to-know phase. Don’t let your guards down, even if you have a lonely heart and is eager to have companionship with someone, know that some Filipina scammers have taken advantage of these situations far more than you could count. So don’t appear fragile nor eager to meet them.

Whatever scam they could think of, it all boils down to using you, your money, your assets, nationality, or identity.


Filipina Scammer Methods

Unfortunately, some online dating sites are no longer black and white in terms of how genuine and real intentions are of the members. Even the most reliable dating application or website involves a fair share of scammers too. Be aware of the scammer methods that they are up to:

  • She will ask for gifts or financial favors

When your woman starts demanding gifts or financial favors, that should start a trigger to your guard. That won’t pass the radar check. If your woman loves you and cares for you, there won’t be a need for them to demand upfront, as you can give them the gifts that you want to provide them with without them initiating it.

Many Filipina women are scamming different foreign men on dating sites and asking for financial sustenance without intention of being in a close relationship with any of them. I never dared myself to demand anything from my boyfriend, even when we just started dating. As I said, a good woman will appreciate a man genuinely and not because of his gifts.

  • She will use you to give her a green card.

s. She will make you fall in love with her, enough for you to offer marriage. Then finally, you bring her to the US, where she feels her quality of life there will be better than her life in the Philippines.

  • She will pretend to be someone beautiful and make you fall for her.

Although this method may not work for you if you are brilliant and careful but sadly, a lot of men still fall for it. There are many catfishes in the Philippines. They would use someone else’s pictures and identities and make you fall in love with them. Once you do, and you propose for marriage. She might ask her relatives to deal with you for the marriage preparations. You have to send money to the wedding expenses. And when you do, her job is done. Your loss is her gain.

  • She will blackmail you.

Although far rarer, many cheap Filipina girls will force you to do sexual acts with them online and record everything. When you oblige, and she gets the footage, she will use this video to blackmail you. That would mean you have to pay her as often as she wants, she would leak those dirty videos to your Facebook or other social networking sites. Foreign men who value their image would have no choice to comply with her financial demands.

  • She will offer indecent activities for a price.

Once you fall in love and get emotionally attached to her, she will force you to do sexual acts with her, but she would do it for a price. She can only do it with you if you make sure to wire her a hefty amount. This is similar to the blackmailing scam, but this one already involves your emotions, so you probably will just conform to sending money regularly.

  • She will make you pay for her internet bills.

Some Filipina women stoop as low as fooling their foreigner boyfriend to pay for their utility bills or can’t continue communicating with them. If you meet someone like this, she will make sure that you pay for her internet or won’t hear from her anymore. So this undoubtedly raises the red flag here. Although this is a bit more subtle than others, she is still using you for money.

If she is interested in you, she wouldn’t mind paying for her internet bill so she can just communicate with you. A real girl would make more efforts just to talk to you. And besides, even if she won’t chat with you, she uses her internet practically for many other purposes. Making you pay for something that she has been paying for, even before you came along, seems unfair. She is fooling you.

  • She will lie and tell you about her “emergency.”

This tactic has also conned many foreign men. She will lie about a typhoon or calamity that she and her family experienced. She will earn your sympathy, and eventually, you will send her some money to fix their house or property. Some women use a different alibi, which they refer to as an emergency. But at the end of it all, they would ask for financial help from you. Be careful about this; some Filipina women have already mastered their dramatic skills over time.

  • She will always ask for money when you date together.

After meeting each other for the first time, she might ask for money upfront for anything that she does for you. Even when you pay up for all the expenses, she would still demand some more money. You will soon realize that she’s not into a serious relationship. She’s just spending time with you because of what she can earn and benefit from you. That sure obviously means she treats you like a milking cow.

Related: 6 Signs Your Filipina is Actually Into You and 6 That She Isn’t


How to Tell if a Filipina is Lying

You have to know how to spot a scammer. There are many ways to see if she is lying to you. Here are some instances:

  • Her stories are always inconsistent.

If her stories are all over the place and are inconsistent all the time, then you know that you’re chatting with a liar. She always comes up with reasons and excuses, and you still doubt which story is the real one or not. It’s better to cut your connection before it gets serious. Trust is the essential foundation of a relationship, so if she cannot be trusted, move along.

  • She never agrees to meet each other even after a while.

So, come to think of it, if you have already been consistently chatting and calling each other, but you still never saw her on video. And she never agrees on meeting each other personally; then you would know that something is fishy. There is a 99% chance that she is pretending to be someone else. How else would she not agree to even showing her face on a video call, right? You are probably getting catfished. She may have been pretending to be someone else so that she can lure you to her charm. And once she baits you, then she can plan on ways to use you for money.

  • She asks for money and financial favors.

Okay, so perhaps other good girls do this to their boo sometimes. But if you and your Filipina girl has just started chatting and haven’t built a stable relationship or any foundation of some kind, then there is no right for her to demand any financial gifts.  She might be lying about her feelings and just want your money and not you. Remember, if a girl is interested in you for real, there should not be a single dime involved. Sure, you can send some gifts sometimes, but that would be coming from your initiative.

  • She is eager to meet you even when you’re not as interested.

If she doesn’t pass your instinct and vibe test, then better run from the opportunity of developing a deeper relationship with her. She might be very eager and probably forces you to meet with her, yet you’re quite doubtful. Then you should trust your instinct. There is nobody who would want to meet someone after just a few hours of communication. Something just doesn’t seem right.

If your Filipina girl qualifies for any one of these different signs, then it just concludes that she is not worthy of your time and your love. It’s time to cut her off, especially when your emotions for her are still at bay. It’s suitable to stop things before they just worsen. Remember to take things slow. There are many amazing Filipina girls for you to build a genuine relationship with. You just need to be careful in choosing and selecting.

Related: How to Bring Your Filipina GF to the US


Some men from the Western part of the world are often attracted to their opposites. And by that, it means they are going to the other side of their world, to seek for Filipina lovers. You shouldn’t be surprised, though, as Filipinas are known to be one of the sweetest women in the world. They sure have the most genuine smiles, warmest personalities, and the most hospitable characteristics too. But aren’t those sometimes too good to be true?

Sometimes the girlfriend that you’ve trusted for a couple of months and even years turns out to be a different person than you’ve anticipated. Scammers are lurking here and there, so consider yourself warned. Some Filipina women are capable of doing vile deeds that are beyond your imaginations. How do I say so myself, you might wonder?

Well, considering that I am a Filipina myself, believe me when I say that I have heard of repetitive stories about these women scamming foreign men. I’d like to add that I have had some friends who shared stories of their girlfriends, who have indeed scammed other foreign men. So you see, these situations are REAL. I wouldn’t want any foreign man to experience such a traumatic situation just because of finding love.

Further Reading:

How to Make a Filipina (really) Fall in Love WIth You

Discover The Best Dating Sites to Meet Sincere Filipinas

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2 years ago

What about very poor person situation? I online date a very poor transgender (bakla) woman in her late 30s from Southern Phillipines. She doesn’t have any children from any woman but lives with family. She’s now returned to a Phillipine’s college for a practical training and struggles to work for family members. Its my understanding that she’d have difficulty getting business jobs because of her gay gender unless she knew hair salon or other female jobs. I am assisting her with college projects costs. I also got her a better phone because her old phone (which died) wasn’t a smart… Read more »

1 month ago

What about if she already lives here in the US and she listens to everything, seems to be very understanding? She admitted to wanting a “traditional” setup, but I said I’m not looking for that and attempted to cut things off. She seemed devastated and even ended up getting a job and her own place. Recently she said that once we’re married she does expect a more traditional setup-tho I thought we were clear from the beginning. She also said she didn’t think I was the type to complain if she had to help family back home. I told her… Read more »

Manila Expat
1 month ago
Reply to  Peter

It sounds like you are in a complicated situation with this woman. You have been clear about your expectations and preferences, but she seems to have different ones. She may be trying to convince you to change your mind, or she may be hoping that you will eventually agree with her. Either way, this is not a healthy or respectful way of communicating in a relationship. You have the right to decide what kind of relationship you want and what kind of partner you are looking for. You should not feel pressured or manipulated by someone who does not share… Read more »